I was officially diagnosed with bipolar when I was 21. I accepted the diagnosis and began being treated at the age of 24.

My astrologist said this day was somewhat of a significant day. She actually said it would be a day when Isreal would show back up in my life, or something unclear; foggy would show up again. But nothing happened. I guess that’s good as Isreal is not a positive thing in my life. But nothing happened. It was the last day of school and I felt neither happy nor sad. However, after my nap, when I woke up at 6:00pm. I was very sad. I’ve had that weight with me ever since. Even though I got to socialize in a big group. Kristin has a “surprise” dinner planned by one of her friends. Kristin invited me after I called her to ask what she was doing. It always helps to be around people when I carry this weight. But then I came home, began to watch TV, and then started thinking about sex. I want sex. I deserve to have sex. Therefore, I want marriage, and deserve to be married. I really do. Why do I not have that? This makes my weight heavier and adds a spice of anger. I think the depression plus the sex drive equals a mixed state. I don’t’ like mixed states. But I am so grateful I am better than I was! …and I will get to that, another day.